30 years later...............

Havent written in awhile. Single again but still friends. Down 88 lbs. 23 to go. Just doing me.

I want a banana. I need to get to the gym.

Went to the gym. Saw the heterosexual version of Richard Simmons, let's just call him Z.

HVORS: "Celissa. Look at you. Keep it up. Blah! Blah. You know what? You can tell that you were doing something before because looking at your license."

Me: "Yeah, I was looking at that the other day. Blah! Blah!"

HVORS: "Well like I said I'm always around. I know you're shy but I'm not. Need any help, come get me."

The guy is hyper as hell but I guess that would be his job. If he wasn't fine as hell, he would probably be annoying.

I have this reception dinner to go to tomorrow. I really do not feel like going but I guess I should since the thing was partly my idea. May go downtown/uptown/whatever they call it these days afterwards, well depending on how I feel.

Then Sunday I need to sneak in a workout and then crash a Superbowl party or two. Well if I an shake this damn cold.

1). I can't shake the fact that I would have been a mom this year. I keep telling myself that because I didn't know I was pregnant in the first place then it is alright. I don't know. I just feel so freaking empty right now. I was looking at my niece Bria tonight and all I kept thinking was how she would be a year older than my child. How they could have gone to school together. Would they be close? Then I thought thinking about how I don't have enough money to raise a child. I know jackass would have been a part of the child's life. I just have never seen myself as a single mom.

2). What is wrong with some people? Its like they don't want to see people happy. Just because your life is so unhappy, why try to bring everyone else down with you? Work tomorrow should be interesting.

3). Getting a little less than I expected for taxes. Therefore a lot of my plans are screwed up. I'll figure something out.

Anyway I need to go see Grandma tomorrow or at least call her before I get a beating. Then go talk to the guy at the gym. After that I have to find something to wear to J's reception Saturday.

I should write in this thing more. Seeing as I lead a very boring life there's nothing to write. Let me just say I can't read people's freaking minds.

my baby knows how to hold her bottle..;)

I'm now a new auntie to Brianna A'maiya D'Ann born on May 20.

Damn it! I need to get out of this apartment. I haven't done anything since I been here but get up, get on the computer, eat, get on the bike and then go to sleep. The only difference between Decatur and Columbus is I had a job in Columbus. I need to get out and mingle with the people. I need people I could just call up and go "Hey, you wanna hang out?" Everyone elses life is so interesting or so they like me to think. I'm almost looking forward to going back home this weekend. Damn it!

In other revelations Celeste thinks I'm crazy because I want to call someone in city/county government to tell them that they need to mow the grass on the highway. Columbus highway is just so must prettier. Hell Columbus is way prettier than this city. I know I shouldn't keep comparing the cities but mow the damn grass and I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Yesterday was the 7 year anniversary of mama's death. I only remembered it today. She should be here with me. Sometimes I talk to her though and I know that she hears me. And even though she can't respond back I know she is listening.

I'm regretting a lot these days but I prayed! If its meant to be, its meant to be!

I can never move to Biloxi/Gulfport, Mississippi. Too much water! Got back from there last night at 8. I only took $93 with me because I didn't make it to the bank and thank god I didn't make it to the bank. I would've gambled it all away. Gambling is addictive. . At the first casino I lost $54. At the second casino won $49 back at the five cent slot machine. At the third and last casino I won $104 at this one slot machine that was like my best friend. ;o) All these old people kept giving me evil looks because I wouldn't get up. So I won a total of, drum roll please
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$32. Better than losing $32. I don't think I going back though. I'm not too hip about a big ass bus driving over the ocean.

Found out at the second casino about the Columbia. I didn't even know a shuttle had launched 17 days ago. This is sad! I've been reading up on Michael Anderson. I wanted to know his background since he's black. Not only because he's black but because anytime a african american does something of importance we want to know. He had a nice career. I feel so bad for the families, having to watch that on television. It literally came to pieces. I don't think I could handle that.

GT beat UVA! ;o)